Life Lesson, Side Note

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‘Persistence prevails’, so they say. It certainly doesn’t always, and even when it does, it doesn’t mean it’s right or healthy. Knowing when to stand still, re-evaluate and change the course of direction is just as important as moving forward, if not more; for moving forward doesn’t always mean moving in the right direction. It is only when we slow down and regain perspective that we can see more clearly and understand the present without thinking solely of the future. Taking a slower more consciously aware approach to life will often get you where you need to go sooner than following the wrong path persistently until you find the right one. This applies to relationships, work choices, pursuing talents and interests, and basically everything.

Mentally, I was always driven by progress. We should always be progressing through life, individually, within our family or friendship groups and as a society to achieve the optimum outcome for all. Individually, we should grow internally and develop ourselves through our experiences, gaining knowledge and wisdom. Whilst together, we should grow as a team and support network, learning from each other’s strengths and weaknesses so that we can work together effectively and compassionately.

I discovered that making progress, alike persistence, isn’t actually measured by moving or progressing forward. Its success lies in the bigger picture; it is by having the courage and strength to take the right steps, even if they seem to be backwards or illogical at first, that positive progression in life is made. Think quality over quantity. Do you progress further in life by adding numbers to your friendship groups and years to the length of your relationships? Or, does your relationship success increase by the quality of your friendships or the quality of time that you share together? This shows that progress isn’t always accumulative as it is also subjective to the value that it is adding to your life.

For progress to be achieved together, whether it’s within personal relationships or other circles of people, a balance of effort, mutual respect and compassion is required. This was clearly lacking in my previous relationship, which eventually taught me that it is okay to fail; in fact, it can be very healthy to fail. Through our ‘failures’ we often take away life-changing lessons that progress to better outcomes. This is ultimately a win and therefore a success, not a failure at all (the art of turning a negative into a positive).

As impossible as it may seem at first, for the healing process to take place and reward to be reaped, we need to be willing to receive the life lessons that we are presented with. Often, the experiences that cause the most pain also provide us with the most strength once we rebuilt our confidence and apply those lessons to our own personal development. With this approach, I have been able to transition into a healthier place, mentally, physically and spiritually, giving me the peace and strength that I need.

Let go, forgive and be free from your troubles, allowing yourself to breathe, for the wind is on your side; it will carry you and hold you up. All it takes is faith.

Practical Tips


  • If something is not working despite your persistent efforts, consider a deeper cause and find the root of the issue.
  • Forcing things together that are broken or not meant to be is wasted energy, better spent elsewhere.


  • We grow more deeply as individuals and as a society through making decisions that progress toward a more positive outcome for all.
  • What may seem, at the time, to be taking a step backward in life can actually be a necessary step in making positive progress on your life journey. Embrace these steps and allow them to guide you rather than consume you or seeing them as failures. This perspective is what will give you strength to make true progress.


  • It is okay to feel pain and disappointment. Give yourself the time and space to feel your emotions and connect with your experiences, so that you can go through the stages of grief, leading to acceptance and understanding them more clearly.
  • For that to pass, it is essential to trust that it will pass and that everything will be okay, if not better.
  • Time will heal, but your perspective is your most effective tool in that process. For knowing that you can control how you let situations and other people have an impact on you, gives you back the power to heal through a more stable, collected and positive mental state or outlook; being proactive in your own thoughts and self-awareness rather than reactive.

Life Lessons

  • Slow down, step back and know when to stop trying to make something work or pushing something in a negative direction.
  • The consequences of your current actions have a significant impact on the future. Trust that what is meant to be, will happen at ease rather than through persistence.
  • Focus your energy where it is appreciated, needed and/or worthwhile to ensure progress is made in the right direction. Making strong decisions such as this, also affirms your self worth and core values, not allowing yourself to be taken advantage of or strung along.
  • Mutual effort, respect and support lead to the most rewarding outcomes, providing the other parties involved with a sense of appreciation and belonging.
  • Failures can often rather be seen as successes, depending on your perspective and personal growth from those experiences.
  • Holding on to pain, negative memories or toxic people in your life is allowing yourself to continue to suffer unnecessarily. It is essential for your own health and wellbeing to learn to let go, forgive and be free from any troubles in your past. Only then, will you truly be able to reach a more positive place of acceptance and personal growth.